Born out of the storied mustache tradition of “Movember,” No-Shave-November encourages males too grow facial hair during the 11th month of the year. Officially, the phenomenon of No-Shave-November is done in awareness of prostate cancer.
Unofficially, it’s cold outside and it’s a great excuse to grow a facial sweater, and many members of your Washington Redskins are jumping on board.
“I think I started No-Shave-November when I was a baby,” confessed kicker Graham Gano. “I was born with a full beard, and the first thing that I demanded was some beard trimmers. Yeah…April 9, 1987, that’s the day No-Shave-November started…of course, it didn’t really catch on until November though.”
Probed as to why he has only a light beard now, Gano responded, “Oh, I had to give it up, because people started thinking I was Santa Claus. I keep it right about here (a two, for facial hair trimmers), because if I shave my face, I look like a child, and I get carded when I go places.”
Gano revealed that he would grow his beard to Chris Neild proportions, but:
1. He’s not sure if he could pull it off,
2. It irritates him when he puts his chin strap on over the beard.
Rookie receiver Niles Paul is blessed with one of the strongest beards on the team, and plans to display his full potential this November. “I’m going full beard,” he said. “I want to see what I can really accomplish this year, because I’m going for the really thick look.”
Paul revealed that he is no friend of the neck-beard, and maintains a clear distinction between his face and neck. He also said that he expects his level of play to increase as the month proceeds.
“I can only hope, I can only hope,” he said with a smile. “By December I might keep it and have a No-Shave-Winter. Depending on how things work out, it might be No-Shave-Winter.”
Practice squad guard Eric Olsen brings a strong head-start into the month, crediting momentum with his secret to success.
“I think it might be cheating, but if you start from scratch on November 1, then you can’t really get that good of a beard before the end of the month. By December, I’d like to have, like, Keisel-from-the-Steelers-type of thing going on.”
“I dunno, that’s a little bit of an exaggeration,” he said with a scruffy grin.
No-Shave-November team historian and long snapper Nick Sundberg entered our conversation to provide historical analysis on the facial hair calendar.
“It’s Movember, first of all,” he said. “Then it’s Decembeard. Then it’s Manuary–if you really wanna go into it–and of course, Mustache-March.”
Wiser words were never spoken.
This is your first No-Shave-November report. At the end of the month, we will turn to the Grand Marshall, Chris Neild, for his report cards.