There are three fundamental truths to this Thanksgiving holiday:
1. Football will be on TV.
2. Food will be on the table.
3. And one of the best ways to cook anything is in the deep fryer.
Counting the first two truths as inevitable, several Redskins have combined their culinary knowledge to create a Thanksgiving bird of the deep-fried persuasion.
The news broke on Twitter:
Offensive linemen Nick Sundberg is the deep frying guru, and was seen walking off the practice field on Wednesday, coaching Austin as to tricks of the trade:
1. You must use the proper amount of oil in the fryer, or the bird won’t cook.
2. You MUST thaw the bird out first.
What happens when you don’t thaw the bird out first? You burn down your house:
Something about water and oil not mixing, in a very serious way.
“Me and Sundberg did it last year,” said Erik Cook, a veteran of the deep fried Thanksgiving. “It was both of our first times at actually doing it, so we were kind of nervous after seeing the videos on Youtube. You’ve gotta make sure there’s no water in it, you’ve gotta make sure it’s thawed out.”
“If you throw a frozen turkey in there, *KA-BOOM*.”
Practice squad lineman Eric Olsen is a rookie at deep frying a turkey, and confessed his excitement and slight bit of apprehension. “I have a good idea that we’re gonna go to cut it, and it’s gonna be like ‘Christmas Vacation” where all the dust comes out.”
“It’s so good,” Cook reassured him. “Last year, we even did it wrong, and it still came out good. Last year, we didn’t put enough oil in it, so like a quarter of the bird still wasn’t cooked, so we just kind of cut it off from there and ate the good part.”
It was still three-quarters awesome.
This year, Cook, Sundberg, Olsen, and possibly some other linemen will be in attendance to share in the celebration.
“We just have the one bird,” Cook said. “But it’s 14 pounds. I saw a 21-pounder, but you’re not supposed to exceed 18 pounds with the deep fryer
“I dunno, I think I’m gonna do some kind of sweet potato casserole for these guys, which they’re really gonna like,” Olsen said. “It’s an old family recipe. They might need some stuffing too.”
It’ll be a deep-fried, pot luck affair for some of the bachelors on this Turkey Day.