During the darkest hours of last offseason’s lockout, Redskins receivers Anthony Armstrong and Brandon Banks livened up the debate with a playful Twitter war of who would be faster in a foot race.
While the race was never consummated (due to concerns of injuries), the merit of each competitor was debated back and forth, 140 characters at a time. Banks is traditionally thought of as the team’s speedster, but special teams coordinator Danny Smith has clocked Armstrong at a sub-4.2 on kickoff coverage.
Whichever man is faster, we may never know–but other Redskins receivers threw their hats in the ring this afternoon, declaring their shot at the title of ‘The Fastest Redskin.’
It started with an admission of weight gain from Paul–a number that he then rationalized as a product of his workouts. Paul filled the role as a reserve receiver, returner, gunner, coverage specialist, running back and tight end last year:
Austin guessed that Paul had ballooned from his listed weight of 224 up to 240, which was approximately six pounds over the correct number. Seeing his opportunity to take a stab at Austin, Paul fired away this boast:
And shots were officially fired in this Twitter-galactic battle. It should be noted that all three players have spent time in the return game, so all are considered to have game-changing speed and elusiveness. Going back to their respective Combine performances, Banks ran a 4.43, Austin ran a 4.58, and Paul ran a 4.51.
And here’s the subsequent stream posturing and smack talk among the three:
Now that pride was a factor for all three men, a gentleman’s agreement was in order. A Twitter-iffic handshake, if you will:
And the rest of the conversation devolved into “I bet you’re slower than’s,” and rationalizing the different contestant’s testimonials of speed.
Paul finally squashed all debate, cementing a date for his teammates to race when the team reassembles in the middle of April:
With the start of offseason activities only two weeks away, who would win a race for the title of ‘The Fastest Redskins?’ As a followup question, does it even matter?